Hereby Clarified

Gosh. I have presentation next week which means I cannot extend my working time to the 1st of September. Damn. Teeeet.

[It’s good Erin. Remember, Education is lasts. Works comes and go]

OK. The title is “Time-Traveller Shogun”. This is my or our second presentation for this “Engineering society” paper. My group is attended by 4 members and I as a Project Manager. It’s good position actually as it gaining my leadership credibility. Thank you to Dr. Sharom for the thrust.

The most important thing for a young
man is to establish a credit – a reputation, character.

-John D. Rockefeller-

Think and Thought

A month had gone by, into my recovery and I still complained of lacking time. Honestly, not lacks of time but the mood in study. Everyone said it’s all about me. I just am being stubborn and lazy.

Now I am trying to develop my body even further following the routine that I had planned. However, I just not satisfied. There will be a case that makes me feel lonely and guilty. When it comes, I just felt weak. I have no passion in following my routine. Luckily I still have a friend that really really makes me feel alive. Even though, they didn’t know what was going on inside my head. Being with them makes me forget about what he had done to me.

This week I’m going back to KL again. I will be working as a part-timer at Salvatore Ferragamo for this Merdeka Week. Honestly, when they are offering me the job my first thought said no. After that, my second thought said, I should grab it when it’s comes about money. This semester is my extend semester. So there is no more loan payment that will credit into my account bank. Why not I just take this opportunity and at the end I can gain some earning.

First plan, I and Alan decided to go back by train. Eventually we decided going back KL by bus. We scared there won’t be a plenty time for us to rest. We can expect that both us will damn tired that morning. Yes, working 12 hours a day, from 10 am to 10 pm. God, please let us through those days smoothly.

Never Be Nitwit

Water condensed from vapour in the atmosphere and falling in drops from clouds. Those drops will be known as rain.
-Encarta Dictionary, North America-

At the mean time the weather turned colder as well as mine I think.

I am arrived in Penang this morning. Tiding up my clothes, changes the sheets, kain batik and blanket. After that, jumping up onto my bed and have a good damn sleep.

9 am. Uda called me trying to wake me up but failed. My eyes seems doesn’t want to open.

1040 am. Sara called asking by how I’m going to class since it was rained. I said I don’t want to go.

At 1 pm finally I’m awake. Yes, I have to start my day or else I’ll not finish studying for a test tomorrow.

3pm now! OMG! I’m still not in mood to study.

Day Day

Ferrari Puma vs Dark Brown Top Slim Havaianas

crossing

*
**
***
****

I am quite no idea in writing for these days. So, I just upload some photos. Oh, today he bought me a green photo frame glass. So quickly ‘ll printing a few photos.

Smile

Finally, i got my own pair of my favourite slipper. Thank you dear. Even it is on a short while. Damn happy. Wanna see him again tomorrow. Then I’ll back home.I have a test, an assignment to be submitted next week. Just a note for myself-hoping I won’t care less about these two tasks. Oh, I have to wake up early this morning. I have a thing to do with bank.

my new slipper-slim dark brown, havaianas

As conclusion, I love being as a girl that had been loved by someone like him. I don’t have to be diva (in fact I am truly not) to be attracted to those guys out there. I don’t have to pretend, without being myself whenever I’m with him.

Gathering

Gathering brings means meeting up each other. It was planned earlier but has been spoiled by his girlfriend. How could he? Some kind like he had being stuuupidoo a while. I really do not understand what are he and his girlfriend’s think.

Although he not joined us, we still meet up. The final number that joined the gathering is 12 members. What really bother me is that this guy has been entrusting to deliver all the messages about the gathering to a few of our friends. Unfortunate he did not do it. He rather lying to us (one of my girl friend) that those boys refused to go. He really no idea that she is already called those boys and they are really shocked about the gathering. Hell. We are having a dinner at Teluk Tempoyak. We have joy and laugh. We went to karaoke after that, lepak at mamak stall. Forget about this stupid guy at all. Full Stop. Yesterday Gathering.

*****************

Just went back from jogging. Exhausted.

Get Well Soon

A text from my sis this noon informing my other sister had a fever with 40°C. It is quite high temperature. With the H1N1 issues which is increasing day by day really makes me scared. I pray to God please don’t let my sis to be infected by that virus. I less scared about this virus, but what I really do concern is the temperature. If the higher temperature is present to our body in a quite long period, this will cause to system body failure as well as brain damage. Might be penalty to death.

To my dearest sis Ros, get well soon. We all love you so much. Hope you are strong.

P/s: Alhamdulillah. Thanks God. Another text at night. The temperature is decreasing to 37.7°C.

Remedy

I do spend my day (yesterday) with a lot of reading. Read about a few politics issues, no point actually. I just have a seat and updating my brain. I did exploring and browsing a few blogs. Eventually, I stop at one blog. The only sentence that I can say is she is fashionable and I’m enjoying reading hers. Ooh, a text from my boyfriend. OK , good night dear.

Ermm, now I were about to think of myself. What is my achievement yet? Is there anything that I can make myself proud? No, I don’t think I have one yet. Maybe I did. It is impossible! I can’t believe I did’t have one. OMG! Since my age is getting older. Haahaha, for sure. There is no age getting younger. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. No! The age is still increasing but only physical getting younger from day to day.

OK. Back to what I wanted to say as well as in determining myself. Besides, in my Friday class (Photonic & Material 2) lectured by Dr. Khalid. He does not agree with the exam- oriented style. He said, we as student should understand in a whole not only understand for answering or writing in examination papers. “It is not right”. He said.

I definitely don’t want to be an empty person. Zero. Nothing. The most word that I was afraid to is LOSER. But I can be one if I do nothing to start improving myself. I had to. Life is exciting. I don’t want being a destroyer of myself. Murdering myself slowly. I wanted to enjoy my life in pleasantly, ethically without crossing all my principles. I’m not pretty much in orienting my own future. I wanted to be “crazy” and honest but there is sometimes I can’t be. It’s about me actually. I’m the one who did not comfort me. Yet, my self-confidence still has to be improved.

A few months left before 2010. I did a few resolutions that I’ll try to complete it.

1. Learning Japanese Language and wanted to set my skill in this language in 89% better. For Level 100.
2. Reading English book a lot, at least 5 books.
3. Turning my English level to B+.
4. Eat more fruits and exercise regularly.
5. Love Uda, Odin and mak substantially.
6. Less suffer, work hard, party hard, study smart. Revision is the must.
7. Facing the day religiously- day by day.
8. Tuning up my physics’ knowledge to better frequency.
9. Less spending, more savings.

Now on, I want to have my own path of life so I can make myself worth being. Structuring my own path in focus and full of determination. It does not really matter if I were down then eventually rise me up.

ttwisting my head. missing them; Zara and Alan.

Changes

Day changes. Human changes. Human transforming. How could I expect every off-day is the same day. Every off-day will be the same no matter what it happens. IMPOSSIBLE! Face the truth. No more the routines. No more call in the morning. No more sound. Velvet Sound. Be brave. Face every single day that coming with pride and dignity. Dignity. Yes! I’m walking through the day with highest pride. The day will come no matter how you pretend, no matter how you avoid, no matter how you try to ignore. It is passing yours now. God, please let me through this situation pleasingly.

Allowing myself to be ignored, allowing myself to be blurred most all the time. No, I don’t want that. Neither. Let me be confusing in a while. Begging myself to find the peace deep inside my soul. I don’t want to be stubble. Being kicked. Being thrown. Being static. I want to be cash. Flowing and delivering with happiness and suffering.

SOUL

Feels want to smack someone stupid head. Promises me to see me because wanted to pay back my money and return my thing. Unfortunately, NOTHING. Did tell me to give it since last week. This stupid head really crap. I still stood, waiting.

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Yes, almost finish!!! I can't believe that i can read a book with 500++ pages within a week. definitely it is not Physics's book. New Moon by Stephenie Meyer.